The Hidden Strength in Asking for Help

First and foremost, I want you to know there is no shame in hitting a low point in your life. The fact you are here and seeking help shows you have courage and tenacity — and you’re gonna make it through this, baby!

Rock Bottom. This is it. The place people always warn you not to hit and yet, by some act of fate or circumstance, you are here.

It’s cold. It’s dark. And there is a lingering sense you will be here forever.

If you’re like me, and have hit this place in your life where you feel like things will never get better, it feels permanent. It could be many things that have led you to this dingy little town called Rock Bottom: loss of job, difficulty making friends and connecting with others, loss of a loved one, a breakup, health problems, and stress at work or in school. There are so many more to list, and all of these can take a harsh toll on us, our outlook on life, and overall well-being.


Any one of those is enough to encourage someone to build a house in the town of Rock Bottom, and to stay there, because it doesn’t look like things will get better. Or, even if things did improve, we wonder if we will ever feel that same sense of joy and happiness again. I’ve lived here for years.

When I went through this phase in my life, I made it a point to do everything on my own.

I would try to get out of this pit on my own — always thinking I was smart enough to “think my way out of my problems” without asking for help. And though I would gain some ground, it was never enough to pull me out of this pit — and I would usually fall flat on my face. And, though I was always there to comfort other people who had landed in the same place as I, I had no idea how to escape.

Eventually, I either got smart or just got fed up with failing — and decided to start working with professionals who could actually help me solve my problems. Why I did not do this sooner, I don’t know. But just know that, as soon as you start to ask for help from someone who specializes in the type of situation you are dealing with, you will save yourself hours of hassle trying to solve your problem alone.

And though the worst of it has passed, and I can happily say with their help I’ve packed my bags and moved out of Rock Bottom, I now have a system I can fall back on and know people who specialize at helping people in my situation, who I can contact if I ever need help again.

If you are in a tough situation, the number one thing I would recommend is to seek quality help.

Here are three tips for getting out of this low point in your life by asking for the right kind of help:

1.) Seeking the right kind of help is paramount to success.

2.) You must invest if you want to see a change. Time or money.

3.) Don’t you dare give up.


1.) Seeking the right kind of help is paramount to success.

I’ve talked to many people who feel stuck and discouraged because they’ve reached out for help, but don’t feel like the people they’ve reached out to are offering the support or help they need. But when I dug deeper and saw who they’ve asked for help, it’s mostly family or friends — people who mean well, but who are not trained to get others out of that specific situation.

In fact, when you need specific (professional!!) advice on how to get over your problem, leaning too much on the advice of people who mean well, but who don’t have any expertise, will not help you at all. So, it’s okay if you have friends or family who are encouraging you, but don’t put your eggs in that basket.

If you have one or two good friends who support you on your journey, that’s great. But it’s not critical to your success.

What you should do instead is identify professionals in the field you need help with – and then start reading their material and/or working directly with them. Areas such as: finding work, improving relationships, mourning loss, making friends, dealing with stress, you name it… there is high quality material out there online that will give you the results you are looking for. All you need to do is start searching online for a way to solve your problem, find one or a couple experts in that field, and start learning from them.

While there is great material online for things, such as finding a job or improving your romantic relationships, etc., if you feel like you have a mental or physical condition, you absolutely need to seek professional help.

And in today’s world, it is easier to seek professional help now more than ever.

For example, if you are going through depression, you can get mental health counseling from the comfort of your own home via webcam and online mental health providers. Also, there is help out there for free or at a discount for many people. For example, many companies offer medical benefits for both physical and mental health treatment. Some even offer to help pay for visits to the psychologist or psychiatrist, or have one on-staff or have a third-party provider their employees can contact. Many college campuses have clinics and counseling centers students can visit for free or at a reduced cost.  Also, look in your neighborhood for any non-profit organizations that offer medical or mental health care — these might also be accessible to you at a lower cost as well.

Did you know there are also physical medical conditions that have similar symptoms to depression? Yes, symptoms such as chronic low moods, no energy, difficulty getting out of bed, feeling anxious or sad without prompting, and difficulty concentrating could point to something bigger — an imbalance in your body. In fact, I had something called hypoglycemia and adrenal fatigue, and it didn’t get better until I saw a medical professional for these two things — and many of my symptoms lifted within a matter of weeks or months and I began to feel significantly better. (Check this link out if you want more info on these conditions and how to see a medical professional.)

Most importantly, make sure you find someone who you work well with, who has had proven results in their field, and who you trust.

You might need to spend some time on the internet looking for the material with the best quality aimed at helping people in your situation. This will take some research and time, but is worth its weight in gold once you have found a quality source. Sometimes, you might need to visit a few doctors before you find one you work well with. And I’ve heard from many people that, if you are interested in working with a mental health professional, finding one whose personality matches yours is the secret sauce to success — so don’t be afraid to look around if the first one you meet doesn’t quite click with you.


2.) You must invest if you want to see a change.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for, and once you’ve located a reputable source that will help you overcome your situation, you are going to need to invest.

It might be time. It might be money. But either way, you will need to put in the work if you want to see results.

What does that look like? Maybe it’s putting yourself out there if you are looking for a romantic relationship. Or introducing yourself to more people if you are looking to make friends. Or going to networking events if you are applying for jobs. Or eating healthy, exercising regularly, and taking your medication on a consistent basis, if you are trying to improve your health. You need to take action and do the work the expert in the field suggests you do, if you want to see results.

There is no easier way around it. If you want to get out of this pit called Rock Bottom, you need to be willing to put in the work.

3.) Don’t you dare give up.

When I first started to see a doctor for my hypoglycemia and adrenal fatigue, the first doctor I went to happened to be from the “Doctors Office from Hell” (ha!). No joke, this was possibly the worst doctor on the planet. I’ll save you the details, but the unprofessional atmosphere of that place almost had me give up my search for a medical diagnosis altogether.

If I would have given up there, I would still be sick to this day. Thankfully, I visited another doctor who was able to accurately diagnose my conditions and provide amazing medical help, and I feel immensely better now thanks to his help. But I wouldn’t be as well as I am now if I would have not stuck with it.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

And you deserve to live a good life. You deserve to get better and overcome this. So don’t you dare give up.

I know it’s easy to want to quit when you’re not seeing results — especially if you are investing time or money into getting better. But if you are working with a professional who has proven results and who you trust, please give it another shot and stick with it. I promise you, every ounce of work you put into improving your situation now will pay off in dividends when it’s all said and done.

I wish the best in health and wellness my friends!